An Omugwo helper checklist: what to do, and how to share the work.

Whether you are a grandmother, a sister, a friend or a paid Carer, this is a simple way to think about helping a new mother well. It follows the heart of Omugwo: she rests, and you carry the load.

First, agree what help looks like

Before you start, ask the mother what would help most. Every mother is different. One wants quiet and food, another wants company and someone to talk to. Ask how long you will be there, which days, and what she would like you to leave alone. The mother leads, and you follow.

Every day

• Meals. Cook something warm and simple, and make sure she eats and drinks. Leave snacks and water where she rests.
• The baby. Hold, soothe and settle the baby so she can sleep or shower. Bring the baby to her when it is time to feed.
• The house. Wash up, do a load of laundry, tidy the room she is in, take out the rubbish.
• Rest. Protect her sleep. Keep visitors short, keep the house quiet, and tell her to rest when she insists she is fine.
• Company. Sit with her for a while. Listen more than you advise.

Every few days

• Shop for groceries or place an order, and check what is running low.
• Cook a larger batch so there are meals ready for later.
• Change bedding and wash the baby's things.
• Help with older children: school runs, bath time, a story.

How to share the work

One person should not carry everything. Write the jobs down and let different people take different ones. A sister can cook, a friend can do the school run, a neighbour can bring food, and a paid Carer can cover the days when family is not available. A shared list on the fridge, or in a group chat, stops everyone doing the same thing and leaving something else undone.

What a good helper does not do

• Does not take over the baby against the mother's wishes.
• Does not judge how she feeds, sleeps or parents.
• Does not stay long as a visitor. Helpers work, and visitors wait their turn.
• Does not ignore warning signs. If the mother seems unwell, very low, or in pain, encourage her to call her doctor or midwife, or call for help yourself.

If you cannot be there

Not everyone has family close by. You can still help from a distance by paying for a meal delivery, calling every day, or helping her find other support. ThinkMoms Carers are experienced mothers who are paid to show up and help in practical ways, and the community is there for company at any hour.

You may also like our guide to asking for help after birth and the story behind Omugwo.

This page is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your health or your baby's health, please speak to your doctor, midwife or local emergency service.